
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”
“What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”
He answered, “ ‘A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.’ ”
“You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied. “Do this and you will live.”
But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And how many guns should I have?”
Jesus said to him, “If you don’t have a gun, sell your cloak and buy one.”
He said “See, Lord, here are two guns.”
“That might be enough,” Jesus replied. “But it never hurts to have more!”
Then Jesus said: “When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are safe. But when someone stronger attacks and overpowers him, he takes away the armor in which the man trusted and divides up his plunder. A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A pacifist happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Democrat, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But an NRA member, armed with a Bushmaster .223 M4, came to where the man was; and when he saw him, he grew angry. He chased after the robbers and shot and killed them. Then he gave the man a Glock 22 and told him to always be ready to defend himself.”
“Which of these three do you think was properly prepared?”
The expert in the law replied, “The one who had the most guns.”
Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”


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